Next of Kin
by Shauna3
Summary: Jess finds it's hard to let go of someone you never really knew. Lit
1. next of kin

A/N: This takes place following the season finale. This chapter is short but you can understand why.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls.

Jess stared at the number displayed on his cell phone. Not recognizing it, he almost didn't answer it. Giving in to curiosity, he finally picked it up on the fourth ring.

A man's voice spoke before Jess managed say a word. "Is this Jess Mariano?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Is your father's name James Mariano?"

This finally got Jess's full attention. He immediately dropped the sarcasm and began to take the call somewhat seriously.

"Um, yeah"

"This is Sergeant Wilkes, NYPD. We're going to need you to come down here."

"What? Why? What's going on? What does this have to do with Jimmy?"

"Please sir, just tell us where you are and we'll come and get you."

That was how it all started. Jess told them his address and was whisked off to the station. The car ride seemed to take forever and the cops wouldn't tell him anything. When they finally arrived, Jess had had enough.

"Okay now someone better tell me what all of this is about and it better be good. I'm really fucking tired and I have to get up early for work tomorrow."

Just as he was finishing his sentence, a familiar man walked into the room. It was a cop whom Jess had become fairly acquainted with throughout the years. He had been picked up a few times by him, but he also understood where Jess was coming from and gave him some slack from time to time.

"Jess, it's been awhile."

Jess knew something was wrong from the look on his face. He immediately stopped his rant and readied himself for anything. Seeing this, the cop continued.

"Jess I'm afraid we have some bad news. James Mariano died yesterday. He was driving while intoxicated and flipped his car over the divider. He died instantly. You are the only next of kin we could find."

Jess stood in total shock. Jimmy's dead? What was Jimmy doing in NY? Why would this happen? The questions all seemed to blur in Jess's head and he found himself feeling suddenly absolutely alone. His only next of kin? That's right he never married Sasha. Sasha! She had to know something.

"I..I need to make a call."

"Sure, right this way." The cops all looked relieved that Jess finally spoke.

Jess walked to the phone and dialed. After two tries, someone finally picked up.

"Hello?"

"Rory please don't hang up…"


	2. The right thing to say

A/N: Wow, I can hardly believe what a great response I got from everyone. Thank you all so much for your reviews and encouragement!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls.

"What? Who is ..Jess? Is that you?" Rory was shocked. After their last meeting she never expected to hear from him again.

"Please Rory, just don't hang up." He sounded strange, desperate.

"You have thirty seconds to tell me why I shouldn't." She couldn't give in just because she was worried.

"Jimmy…um …Jimmy's uh… dead. Jimmy's dead." It was just as shocking to hear himself say as it had been to hear it from the cops.

"Oh god, Jess are you okay?" Hearing this news, Rory immediately gave in to her concern.

"I um, yeah. Well no. Rory please… get me out of here." His voice cracked as he said the last part. He hadn't planned on asking for her help, then again he hadn't originally planned on calling her at all.

Rory was quiet for a few moments. Glancing around the pool house, she decided she had to get out of there anyway.

"Ok Jess, where are you?"

When Rory arrived at the police station, Jess was nowhere to be found. The female cop sitting behind the front desk looked surprised to see her, "Can I help you miss?"

"Um, yeah I'm here to see Jess Mariano."

The lady's expression quickly turned sympathetic. "Sure I'll take you to him, poor kid."

Rory was then led to a small room where Jess sat at a table with two officers. He didn't notice as she walked in, giving her a chance to size up the situation. Jess looked as though he was in complete shock. His hair was disheveled and instead of his usual indifferent expression, he had a completely blank one. He looked almost as though he didn't understand anything that was going on around him.

Rory walked up to the table. "Hey Jess," she said gently.

He slowly turned his head to her and relief washed over his face. "Rory, you're here."

She smiled at him, "yeah Jess, I'm here."

After promising to come back the next day to finish the paperwork and make funeral arrangements, the police allowed Rory and Jess to leave. Neither of them spoke until they were in her car. "So, where to?"

Jess looked startled by her question. "I don't know, are you driving back home tonight?"

Home. She hadn't thought about it since she had come to get him. The last thing she wanted was to go back to the pool house tonight. "We could do something, you know maybe get your mind off of things?"

He looked at her somewhat surprised. "We could do something."

Rory smiled as she started her car. "I have an idea."

Moments later Rory pulled up to the first liquor store that she saw. For the first time, she was truly glad to have that id that Logan had gotten her.

As she disappeared into the store, Jess thought about how strange the night had been. Jimmy dying, Rory being there for him, Rory not running home and now Rory in a liquor store? It was all too much for him to think about. Luckily his thoughts were interrupted as Rory climbed back into the car. Taking the bottle out of the paper bag she handed it to him.

Jess raised an eyebrow upon receipt. "Grey Goose, you have expensive taste."

Rory smiled. "I think we're going to need the good stuff tonight."

Minutes later, they were parked in front of Washington Square Park. No words were said as the two walked into the park but they both went to where she had found him that day that seemed like it was centuries ago. Once they were there Jess opened the bottle and took a long sip. When he was done, Rory reached for it and did the same. Finally Jess spoke.

"Does Lorelai know you're here?"

Rory sighed. "A lot has been going on lately. It's a long story."

"I'll take that as a no."

"It's not that simple."

Taking another sip from the bottle Jess looked straight into her eyes, "I've got time if you want to talk."

She found it unnerving the feelings that surfaced when his eyes looked into hers so intensely and had to glance away.

After some time had past in comfortable silence, each trying to drink away their own personal demons, Rory asked, "how did he die?"

"A car crash. He was drunk, flipped over the divider. I still don't know what he was even doing here."

"I hadn't even thought of that. Didn't he live in California?"

"Yeah, last I heard he was still there. I meant to call his girlfriend at the police station. He lived with her and so I thought she'd know. I should have called her. I just picked up the phone and before I knew what I was doing I was talking to you."

"So why don't you call her? There's a time difference, it isn't as late there."

"Yeah, I'm just not sure what to say." Jess laughed bitterly, as the alcohol was beginning to have a slight effect on them. "I guess that's always been my problem, I never know the right thing to say."


	3. dead to me

Jess took a few steps away from Rory and pulled out his cell phone. He searched the contacts list until he found the number marked "Jimmy" and pressed send. After 4 rings, he almost gave up. Finally the voice of a young girl picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey Lily it's Jess." He tried to keep himself from sounding nervous.

"Jess! Are you coming to visit?"

Jess smiled. For some reason, no matter how much he yelled at her and ignored her, that kid loved him.

"I don't really have the money right now Lil, but I'll try to come soon okay?"

"Okay, I guess. Then why are you calling?"

"Um I was hoping to talk to your mom. Is she home?"

Lily hesitated before answering.

"Yeah, uh she's home. She hasn't been feeling too well lately though. I think she's lying down. She's always resting lately…"

Jess sighed. He hated the thought of adding to her pain, but she did have to know.

"Do you think you can bring her the phone? It's really important Lily."

"Okay Jess hold on a second."

As he waited, Jess walked back towards Rory. He reached for the bottle and took another big sip. He suddenly wished he had drunk more before making this phone call. Rory accepted the bottle back and gave him a sympathetic look.

"Jess?" Sasha sounded tired and weak, so much different from when he had last seen her.

"Yeah, hey Sasha."

"Is everything okay? We haven't heard from you in awhile."

Jess hesitated, knowing it couldn't be avoided.

"No, not really. Listen Sasha, I'm calling about Jimmy."

"Jess… Jimmy…Jimmy's not here. He left last week."

"Wait, he left? Did you know where he was going?"

All of a sudden Jess started feeling slightly angry. Did he just walk out on her?

Sasha sighed. "Hold on a second….Ok I don't want Lily knowing all these details… I… I'm pregnant. I thought, I don't know. I thought he'd be happy. I'm so stupid. I told him and he got all freaked out and left. He probably just has to calm down and think it through. I'm sure he's coming back, don't worry too much…"

"Sasha… oh god… ok I need you to sit down. Look I don't know how to tell you this but Jimmy died yesterday. I got a call from the police today. He was here, in NY and he was drinking. He got into a car accident. They said he died instantly."

Both ends of the phone were silent for a full minute.

"Sasha, you still there? You okay?"

"He's dead? Oh god. I can't believe he's gone…" She sounded so distant, so fragile.

"I'm so sorry… I don't know what to tell you. Sasha I'm just so sorry." He was still shocked she was pregnant.

"Jess are you okay? I mean he was your father." He could hear the tears in her voice.

Jess smirked. "I'm okay. I'm handling it. I got a bottle of vodka and an old friend here. I'll be alright." He gave Rory a meaningful look when he said "old friend." She gave him a small smile.

"When's the funeral? I guess it's in NY?"

"I don't know. They were trying to get me to fill things out and make some arrangements but I was too shocked. I told them I'd go back tomorrow to finish whatever they need."

"I just can't believe he's dead… Jess we'll fly out there as soon as we can…"

"Sasha you don't need to… he doesn't deserve it… stay home and take care of yourself."

"No. I think we need the closure. We'll be there."

"Okay. Call me when you know when you'll get in and I'll meet you guys. Be careful until then, okay?"

"Ok, you too…and no driving tonight, got it?"

"Got it. See ya soon."

"Okay. Bye Jess."

Shutting his phone, Jess let it slip from his hands. Rory watched as he walked up to the nearest tree and hit it. Twice.

"Jess stop.. what happened? Come on Jess your bleeding.." Rory tried to drag him away from the tree, but not before he got one more hit in.

"Jess now look at me. What happened?"

"He's a fucking prick…. I can't believe he'd do it again…"

"What Jess? What did he do?"

Jess, calming down a little looked into her eyes. "She's pregnant, Rory. She told him and he left. He was abandoning her, just like he did to Liz."

Rory was speechless. She reached out and wrapped her arms around him. They hugged for what seemed forever, each trying to gain some understanding of how their worlds have been falling apart.

Finally he spoke. "God I'm so stupid. Here I am feeling like I missed out on something by never having known him. He was an asshole though… I thought…it doesn't matter though he didn't change."

"Jess, it's okay. Of course you wanted to know him, he was your father… and it's okay to be sad that you never got to really know him."

"No it doesn't matter. He was dead to me most of my life, so why should it feel any different now."

The two of them drank in comfortable silence for a little while longer until he finally voiced the question he was wondering all night.

"Why aren't you home? Shouldn't school be over now?"

Rory knew this would eventually come up, but she still wasn't prepared. She had already sidestepped the issue once and knew she wouldn't get away with it again.

"Alright. Things have just been falling apart for me lately…I guess it all really started the night after I last saw you. I was just so… confused. I regretted the way things happened that night so much and it upset me even more that I still cared so much. I don't know, there are no excuses for what I did. The day after I saw you, I slept with Dean. It was horrible, I was so upset with myself. I guess to try to compensate or whatever I tried to prove to myself that it wasn't a mistake. Dean and Lindsay got a divorce and Dean and I got back together. I guess I figured that if a relationship came out of it, it wouldn't seem like such a bad thing. Then we of course broke up and I got caught up with these rich kids that felt like their trust funds meant they were untouchable. I mean to an extent it does. They never get into any real trouble, but the things they do…well my mom hated them and I started dating one. Of course my grandparents think he's great but I feel like I'm becoming one of them. I interned at a newspaper that my boyfriend's father owned and at the end of the internship he told me that I don't have what it takes. I was so upset…somehow it seemed logical at the time for me and Logan to steal a yacht…Well we got caught and right now I'm out on bail. I'm just so freaked out about the whole thing.. I mean I don't have what it takes to do what I spent my entire life working towards. Anyway, I dropped out of Yale and my mother and I argued…now I'm staying in my grandparent's pool house. God this all seems so pathetic compared to what you're going through…" Rory was amazed at the how easily she could tell this all to Jess. It was embarrassing to tell, but the alcohol probably helped with that part.

Jess patiently waited through the story. Of course it was disappointing for him to hear how her life has gone downhill since he last saw her, but he knew what it was like when things got out of hand.

"Rory, it doesn't seem pathetic. I know what it's like when things just go spiraling out of control. You think you have a handle on things but suddenly realize that nothing's really the way you thought. It's okay. You're a smart girl, you'll work everything out. I don't think anything less of you because of it. If anything, maybe it just makes you a little more human."

Rory sat with tears in her eyes. This is the man that she was so determined to try to hate? "Jess I'm sorry. You should not have to comfort me at a time like this.."

Jess cut her off. "Shh… Maybe all we need is to be there for each other."

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	4. change

Ok, so it's been 3 years. I just wanted to give this another try. I've been reading some stories lately and it's really made me want to finish some of my own. I edited chapter 3 and now let's see if I can pick up where I left off…. Please review if you read this, I would really like to get back involved with this and reviews are amazing motivation. This chapter's short, but the next one will involve Jess's family swarming in to NY so it seemed like a good place to stop.

Rory had fallen asleep first, with Jess following about three shots later. When his eyes opened next, he was greeted with the familiar site of Washington Square Park in the early morning. He could hear the noise of the usual daytime activity off in the distance, however, no one could be seen from where they lay. Jess stayed where he was for what seemed an eternity, awkwardly leaning against a tree with Rory's head fast asleep in his lap. He was too afraid to move, too afraid to face the day, too afraid that Rory would disappear if he woke her, too afraid of his own frailty. Instead he focused on the throbbing pain in his hand and the matching pain in his head. These things at least seemed real to him.

When Rory finally woke, she immediately bolted upright. She flinched from her very own hangover and shielded her eyes from the sun. For a few minutes, the pair just stared at each other trying to digest all that had happened in the past twenty four hours.

Rory spoke first, when their silence had finally become too loud to bare. "So… We have a lot to do today, we should probably get started." She reached for her bag, dug around and produced a bottle of Advil. "Ok now we can get started."

Jess gave her a small smile and accepted a few of the pills. "To be honest, I don't really know where to start. I never met any of Jimmy's family. I guess I should call Liz. She'll probably want to know, even if she shouldn't really care."

"I'm sure she'd want to know, after all, Jimmy was a big part of her life. She might even know some family members of his."

Jess studied her intently. Wouldn't her grandparents miss her? Was it really ok to let her help? He didn't want to push her away, she seemed to need to help him through this almost as much as he needed her to. Instead of questioning her, he decided it was time to call Liz. Surprisingly, he was more nervous as he waited for her to answer than he had been in calling Sasha.

Luckily, Liz answered. A conversation with TJ may have just pushed him over the edge.

"Hello?"

"….Hey… Liz." He couldn't quite keep his voice steady, but Liz didn't seem to notice.

"Hey Jess!!! TJ- it's Jess!! How are you? It's been a while! Are you coming to visit? You have to come visit."

It took everything he had not to hang up the phone and try again later.

"Liz.. look I'm actually calling to tell you something.."

"Well what is it? You know you can tell me anything… not that you would… you're just like your grandfather that way. What were you going to tell me?"

Afraid that any more lead-ins would send her on another tangent, he finally just said it.

"Jimmy's dead."

Rory's head snapped up, surprised by his direct approach. She quickly looked away and began searching through her phone in order to seem busy. She knew that he didn't need his conversational skills to be judged at a time like this.

After a few moments of silence, Liz finally spoke. Her tone now quiet and serious, a tone that Jess didn't think she possessed.

"How?"

Jess cleared his throat, trying to match her calm.

"A car accident. Here in New York. He was drunk."

After another few moments of silence passed, Jess continued.

"Anyway, I thought that you should know. Is there any family of his that maybe should be told? I have to go back to the police station today and finalize the paperwork and tell them what to do with the… um .. Jimmy."

"It's been a long time but I think I still have the number for his mother. I'll take care of it. Jess go back and sign what you have to sign. Tell them that his mother will be making the arrangements. You don't need to be doing this. I'll call you back after I talked to her."

"Ok.. I'll talk to you then."

Hanging up the phone Jess glanced over at Rory.

"So how about we don't go to the police station on an empty stomach?"

As expected, Rory jumped at the chance to eat.

Jess raised an eyebrow at her enthusiasm. "You haven't changed as much as you think, you know."

Rory looked up at him and smiled.


	5. read at your own risk

Ok Chapter 5!! Here goes…

When Lorelai Gilmore burst through the door of Luke's Diner, he immediately knew that something was wrong. She ran up to the counter and stared directly into his eyes.

"She's gone."

"What? Who?"

"Rory! Rory's gone!"

Luke hesitated, was it just sinking in now?

"Um Lorelai… she has been… she.."

Lorelai didn't let him finish, "No Luke. My mother called and she left yesterday and hasn't been back since. She's not answering her phone and Logan's been calling all day so she's not with him and she had this DAR thing today… that's not Rory, if she made a commitment then she'd be there. Luke she's not here. She's gone…"

Just as the tears began to stream down her face, TJ burst through the door.

Luke, half glancing at TJ warned him almost automatically, "TJ now's not a good time…"

Normally, TJ was used to Luke shrugging him off but today he was determined. "Jimmy's dead."

"What?" Luke looked at him in shock.

"Yeah, Jess called this morning. Liz is upset, she's packing to go to New York. Apparently she feels she needs to be at the funeral. I thought you should know… maybe you could help calm her before she leaves. She didn't want me to come here because she said you wouldn't want her to go."

All of a sudden everything clicked. Luke and Lorelai exchanged glances and in that moment they both knew exactly where Rory was.

****

Liz had called Jess back when they were finishing up breakfast (which by this time was really lunch) and told him that Jimmy's mother would be handling the funeral arrangements. He was reassured of this when he returned to the police station and was told that some woman named Linda Callese had contacted them.

When they were finally able to leave the police station, this time for good, it was time for Jess to ask the question he had been dreading.

"So when are you heading home?" Jess had been surprised how much easier that her presence made all of this to handle, however, her phone had been ringing incessantly and he knew that she had a totally separate life to get back to.

"Why, are you trying to get rid of me?" Rory said with a smile. In reality she was torn. She knew it was crazy to be here. She couldn't just drop everything and run around New York with Jess. Isn't this the same guy who broke her heart? Didn't he already offer her all of this and didn't she turn him down? Then why did this feel so right?

Rory's expression fell. What if he didn't want her here anymore?

Jess, always able to read her expressions reassured her. "Rory you can stay as long as you want. I just thought- it seems as though people are missing you."

"I'll just stay through the funeral. I don't want you to be alone. Those are never pleasant and I get the feeling that this one is going to be a little tougher than most."

Jess nodded. "Then I guess it's back to my apartment for now."

***

He lived in a small one bedroom apartment that appeared even smaller because it was filled with boxes. Full boxes. Taped shut and labeled.

Rory inhaled sharply at the realization. "You're moving"

Jess looked around the apartment as though he had completely forgotten. "Yeah… um… I was supposed to be moving today. I guess that's not going to happen yet. Good thing I paid the full month's rent."

Rory's eyes filled with tears. She knew it was completely illogical. She lived in Connecticut, it wasn't as though he was leaving her. Why did it feel that way?

Jess started walking further into the apartment and she grabbed his arm. She immediately let go, remembering that contact can be dangerous.

"Jess you're moving! Again! Where are you going? Were you going to tell me?" She knew her questions were irrational but she didn't care. In the past few days she had felt alive. She wasn't going to let that slip away and go back to her life of money and privilege.

Jess reached out and held her hand. "Until yesterday I didn't think you would ever talk to me again. To be honest, since this all happened I totally forgot I was moving. None of this seems real to me. I got a job and I'm supposed to be there tonight. I need to call them."

"Where?" Rory's voice came out small. She knew she was losing her control and that it wasn't fair.

"Philly."

"Wow." Rory took her hand back and looked around. She was at a loss for words so she said all that she could think of.

"Can I take a shower?"

Jess laughed and showed her to the bathroom. He opened a box of clothes and dug out some that could possible come close to fitting her. She smiled gratefully and without a word went to shower.

Jess took advantage of this time to make two phone calls. The first call was to let his new job know that he wouldn't make it until after the funeral. The second was to Luke.

"Luke's Diner"

"Hey Luke."

"Jess…"

"Um I just wanted to let you know that Rory's here. It doesn't seem like she's letting anyone know and I don't want to force her to but I think Lorelai would like to know she's alive."

"Yeah that's sort of where we figured she was. Are you ok? You're mom.. well TJ.. told me."

"Yeah I'm fine. I mean what do I care right?"

Luke sighed. "Jess.."

"Look I have to go, Rory's in the shower and I don't want her to know I called."

"Alright, look thanks for calling. If you need anything…"

"I'm fine. Take care of Liz."

"Ok. Bye."

**

When Rory emerged from the shower she was feeling much better. She had calmed down and realized that he had been right the night before. They really just needed to be there for each other right now and whatever happened later would be determined later.

Jess was sitting on the floor propped against a box reading. When she sat down next to him, he looked up.

"So tell me about this job."

Jess sighed. He knew he had to tell her and he wanted to, but now it made him extremely nervous. He opens another box, pulls out a book and hands it to her.

Confused, she begins to examine the book. "The Subsect, by…Jess MARIANO!!! JESS!!!! YOU WROTE A BOOK"

He laughed a little. It was as though she was telling him because he didn't know. He nodded slightly.

"You wrote a book."

"I knew it. I knew you could do this. I always knew it. You wrote a book."

"That job I got, it's at a small press… my manuscript found its way to them and for some reason they liked it. They liked it so much that they wanted to print it and to hire me. They have this little apartment with four guys that I can stay in. After I move I'm going to try to distribute it to some independent bookstores. Then I go back and work at the press."

"I'm so proud of you."

"Yeah, I mean it sounds like my kind of job."

"It does. Can I read it? Now?"

Jess laughed. "You might not be so anxious once you start. That copy's yours though. Read at your own risk."


End file.
